The Crush
by alostpersona
Summary: After Jean's death, Logan wants some time to himself. Marie has thought about him ever since he left. When he returns, she doesn't want to let him go again... at least without knowing how she feels. Rated M for later chapters. Reviews greatly appreciated!


"She's- she's gone," Logan said in disbelief.

Jean had left the plane, for the love of her friends, and with her psychic ability, lifted the aircraft before the water explosion swallowed them whole. Unfortunately, the sea had washed her away in the process.

"It's the only way," she reassured them.

"She's gone," Logan repeated to himself, sadness welling up in his dark hazel eyes.

"No! You don't say that!" Scott yelled, falling into Logan's shoulder, unable to believe the love of his life, his Jean, had vanished beneath the arms of death.

"No! No!..." he cried.

The two sobbed as the others held their peace and tried to hold back the tears. They bowed their heads in silence, stunned. A piece of heart was ripped from each one of them.

* * *

It had been two months since the departure from Alkali Lake and all was quiet in the mansion. Everyone kept their distance for a long while. A window had opened that day and changed the meaning of what it meant to be an X-Men. A brush past one in the hallways and you couldn't help but close your eyes, pushing memories back into your mind, refusing the feeling of deep sorrow.

Logan had left the mansion a few days after the incident and not even Marie had heard from him since. He felt he needed to get away as far as possible. There was too much to think about. He was already a fucked up man, why did Jean have to add to the dilemma? Why did she have to die?

So, he stayed at hotels, drank his way out of misery at local bars, but wretchedness seemed to follow him everywhere. Two months of wasted time; who was he kidding? He had run out on her again. He was afraid she wouldn't ever talk to him again. The connection between them had weakened. He decided to finally call her, wanting and needed to hear her voice. He needed the comfort, knowing she was alright for now.

He picked up the avocado colored receiver in his hotel room and began to dial. :ring... ring... ring... ri-:

"Hello," answered a familiar voice. Logan's lips curled slightly upward.

"Marie, it's-"

"You've reached 390-7250. We're not here at the moment, but if you'd like to leave a message for Rogue, press 1, for Kitty, press 2 and for Jubilee, press 3. We'll be sure to call you back as soon as we can."

Logan's smile turned to a look of emptiness as he stared at the dial. Button '1' lingered under his fingertip. He sat there for a brief moment before hanging up. He hated leaving messages. Besides, he didn't even know what to say to her. After all this time; where he had been, what he was doing. He knew she would ask and there was just no excuse for leaving without words.

* * *

The ride home was long and uncomfortable. Having not been able to speak with Marie, he was questioned how she would react to his sudden presence. Many times, during his monthly retreat, he thought he didn't have to go back, but he did. There was no choice; no turning back. Deep within the pain and confusion of his heart, he just wanted to see her. Badly.

* * *

Two days had passed and Logan was drawing only a few minutes away.

Meanwhile, it was 7 o'clock on a Friday night at the mansion and all three girls were in their dorm. Kitty sat flipping through channels on the TV, Jubilee rummaged through her closet looking for an outfit to wear for her date the next night, and Marie lay quietly on her twin-sized bed. She thought about Logan. Her feelings were a mixture of anger, sadness, and love rolled into one big knot that tightened in the pit of her stomach. He left her to think and the more she thought, the more frustrated she became.

Suddenly, she felt her body tense and her heart skipped a few beats. She gasped and sat up nervously. Both Kitty and Jubilee turned to her.

"What?" Kitty asked with a puzzled look on her face. Marie's eyes fluttered in a stare as she thought to herself.

"Nightmares again?" Jubilee asked. Ever since Logan held her high in the city's torch, pressing his bare skin to her forehead, she had taken another part of him. He had passed on his own night terrors to the innocent girl and left her alarmed and fearful. But this wasn't it.

The two girls waited curiously as she walked into the closet and withdrew an appealing, bright, wintry outfit. She handed them to Jubilee who gave her a 'not so bad' approval.

"Put these on," she said pulling out Jubilee's everyday shoes.

"Where are we going?" Kitty asked, switching the TV off.

Marie grabbed her coat and walked to the door. She turned around to see their surprised faces. She didn't know where they were going, but they couldn't stay here. She sensed it. Something was coming, but she didn't know what and she didn't want to stay to find out. She didn't want to deal with it right now.

"Guys, we've been inside all day," she said, "Who's in for some Christmas shopping?"

"Sweet," Kitty said excitedly. She jumped off the bed and headed towards the bathroom for a quick check on her appearance.

"Count me in," Jubilee said, tying her shoes. Marie smiled a bit and turned around to walk out the door. She closed it behind her and rested her head back on the hard wood. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves. The knot in her stomach let loose for the first time in two months. Deep, deep down inside of her, something stirred. In the back of her mind was the hope of this being his return. But if it was him, she wasn't ready for it. She thought she had been after longing his presence for so long, but when it came down to it, she was much too nervous and uneasy to speak. What would she say to him? There was a strain of nothingness between them now.


End file.
